Walk Hard

So Tim called me on Tuesday and asked if I wanted to go see a screening of the new Judd Apatow movie, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. I guess they were giving away passes at the mall, he grabbed a handful and invited a bunch of us to go.

First of all, I was a bit hesitant to venture in to the Providence Place Mall during the height of the Christmas shopping season. There's something about navigating the stormy sea of shoppers, bustling here and there in their frenzies without regard for any other fellow human that is a bit off-putting to me, but I concluded that I'd rather deal with that than pay the $10.50 (!) to see a movie I had planned on seeing anyway. So we met at the Food Court, got our tickets, and ventured in to the heart of the cinema to find the theater where the movie was being shown.

As we meandered the corridors on the Providence Place 16, we noticed a throng of people standing in line, the waiting area demarcated with purple velvet ropes. "What the fuck is this shit?" I announced eloquently as we fell in to the back of the queue. Apparently, since this was an advanced screening, there were no cameras or cell phones allowed in the theater. But that was okay - I really didn't mind turning my Sidekick off for the duration of the film (even though my compulsion to obsessively check the time would be severely stifled for the two hours I was sitting in the theater, I told myself I could make it through and went ahead and powered her down). But no, cell phones were not even allowed in the theater. Instead, you had to place your devices inside a brown paper lunch bag, which we initially thought might be bags of goodies they were handing out (sooo bummed that wasn't the case). Then they gave you a little raffle ticket which you would use to reclaim your belongings upon the conclusion of the film. Buhhh, fine.

The movie started a little late, but that was okay because there were no previews (! again). All in all, it was a really funny flick. John C. Reilly played his character extremely well - very convincing as the ridiculous bard Dewey Cox. There were also tons of cameos: Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Jack White, Jason Schwartzmann, Justin Long, Ghostface Killah, the guy who plays Darryl in The Office, Lyle Lovett, Jonah Hill, etc. A prevalent theme throughout the movie was the rampant nudity (hey, dude was a rock star, right?). And not just boobies, either. Disturbingly enough, there were three instances of full frontal male nudity. That's right. I saw full-on peen. Thrice. The frat boys sitting in the row in front of us were desperately trying to shield their eyes from the on-screen genitals, although I'm unsure as to why. It's my understanding that 85% of fraternity hazing rituals not involving beer somehow include the showing and placing of testicles upon another. Hmm. Oh well.

The best part of the movie, though, the absolute highlight at least for me, was this:


No, not John C. Reilly's inexplicably shorn belly - Jenna Fischer. On several occasions, Tim had to remind me to settle down. (I'm a huge Jenna Fischer fan. Like huge. Like I love her. Not in the creepy stalker way [although some think that my attraction to her borders on it] but in the "she is so funny and cute and if she asked me to marry her I would in a heartbeat" kinda way. Just sayin'.)

All in all, I give the movie a B. It was good overall, and the comedy was relatively high. Some aspects were completely ridiculous, even for a Judd Apatow flick, and a bit over the top. I mean I didn't really need to see dudemeat. But it's definitely worth a watch. At least once.

Redux.

Sweet christ on a bike. Not this shit again.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3153171

Because I'm such a fan of lists, I present my "Top 12 Albums of 2007"

Reposted from my MySpace blog, as requested by Jessica

And so we draw to the close of another year. You know what that means - furtively trying to complete Christmas shopping lists, formulating an array of New Year's resolutions that will never, ever stick, and countless "Best Of 2007" lists. Well, I haven't even thought about attempting the first two yet (well, not before I wrote them, anyway, and then thought "Oh shit, what am I buying people for Christmas? And what exactly are my New Year's resolutions? Fuck, these are things I should think about getting on." [Addendum: People are getting the same thing I give out every Christmas - books and/or booze. Christmas list complete.]) The "Best Of..." list, however, is something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now. Those of you who read me regularly know that I'm a huge advocate of Top 5/10/20 lists (I'm a big fan of bulleting items, what can I say?) and therefore should have expected this.

So, I present to you my top 12 records of 2007. This was a good musical year for me. Many of my favorite artists put records out, so the list is populated with said favorites. (Yes, it may be a little sentimental and biased, but I've thought about it and the accolades are deserved.) Why a Top 12 instead of 5 or 10? I don't know. I was feeling a little left of center. I'm sure you'll manage through it somehow.



12. Thrice - The Alchemy Index Vol. 1 + 2: Fire and Water. This album was heavily anticipated by yours truly. There was so much hype leading up to it that I could barely contain my excitement. I followed the studio updates religiously and, upon the day of its' release I used my lunch break to go and buy it. I gave it a few listens that day and my immediate impression was "ummm...okay..." It wasn't exactly what I expected, and I was a bit iffy on the quality of production. It was definitely different than anything Thrice had given me before, and admittedly, I felt a slight tinge of disappointment. As time wore on, though, the record started to grow on me, and one of my favorite songs of the year, "Open Water," was revealed to me. I think once volumes 3 + 4 are released, though, the whole project will be tied together for me, and it'll rank a little higher on my iTunes "Most Often Played" list. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Open Water"


11. Saves The Day - Under The Boards. Seeing as how this band has let me down once before (see: In Reverie), I was admittedly hesitant to be super-excited about this record. Still, I purchased it the day it came out and greedily stuffed it into the CD player in my car. Within the first two songs, I breathed a sigh of relief. The first five or six songs are absolutely wonderful ("Get Fucked Up" and "Can't Stay The Same" standing out, however, the mediocrity of some of the later tracks cause me to rank it lower than I initially would have. Still, it hasn't fallen into the "Okay, I'm All Set With This Record" pile yet, and I don't anticipate it doing so anytime soon. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Can't Stay The Same"


10. New Found Glory - From The Screen To Your Stereo II. So technically, it's not a real release - it's a record of covers. But it's absolutely amazing. It's great to get a brand new record by one of your favorite bands and already know most of the lyrics to the tunes. Instant sing-alongability! There are killer versions of tunes by Goo Goo Dolls ("Iris"), Madonna ("Crazy For You"), and even Go West's "The King Of Wishful Thinking." Song To Download Before Purchase: "The King Of Wishful Thinking"


9. The Dear Hunter - Act II: The Meaning of & Regarding All Things Ms. Leading. I heard the demos for this last summer while I was on tour, and I was immediately taken by the awesomeness of the Dear Hunter. It was definitely high up on my list of anticipated records, and it pretty much lived up to the hype I gave it in my mind. It seamlessly meshes all sorts of different styles of music into one cohesive piece. Because it is a concept record, though, it really only makes sense when listened to all the way through, which cannot always be done. There are many songs that could stand alone as singles, however, it works better when it's consumed in a single sitting. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Red Hands"


8. Dustin Kensrue - Please Come Home. This solo offering from the Thrice front man really struck a chord with me. It's traditional country-laced songs stand apart from anything Kensrue ever wrote for his post-hardcore band, summoning memories of Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard. The simplicity of the songs make it very singable in that my-wife-just-shot-my-dog kind of way, but I think that's what makes this album a winner. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Pistol"


7. Cartel - Cartel. Ah, the nefarious band-in-a-bubble. The controversy surrounding the production of this record was plastered across the pages of the interwebs earlier this summer, fueled by the overreaching opinions of message board users and incessant press regarding their stint in the Bubble. The record came out in the midst of that shitstorm, and then quickly settled into a quiet but strong existence in the hearts of Cartel fans. Including me. I actually reviewed the record (and commented on the nonsense surrounding the record) back in August if you care to hear any more opinions I have on it. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Tonight"


6. Dashboard Confessional - The Shade Of Poison Trees. In stark comparison, the anticipation for the release of Chris Carraba's latest album was practically nonexistent. The release of the record was announced on Vagrant's website only six weeks before it scheduled to drop. Admittedly, this was another band that had disappointed me, although much more recently than STD, so my wounds from the unremarkable Dusk And Summer were still somewhat fresh. But everything turned out just fine. Eschewing the over-the-top production and lavish instrumentation if their previous record, this is a simple and raw offering that hearkened back to The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most and even The Swiss Army Romance at times. It's biting and witty and very, very listenable. Here is my official take on it. Song To Download Before Purchase: "These Bones"


5. Anberlin - Cities. Completely underrated until they made this record, Anberlin roared out of the gates with Cities, their third release, to solidify their place amongst the elite groups in the scene. From the driving opening chords of "Godspeed" to the epic, chill-inducing outro, "Fin", every second of this record in incredible. The record plays like a play or a movie: ups, downs, conflict, denoument, resolution - it has it all. It's damn near perfect. Plus, the bonus DVD with the studio footage on it is a great glimpse into the making of a near-masterpiece. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Dismantle. Repair."


4. Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High. I don't care. I fucking love Fall Out Boy and I fucking love this record. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Hum Hallelujah"


3. Four Year Strong - Rise Or Die Trying. Start the takeover! Okay, admittedly, I loved this record from the moment I first heard it. It isn't ground breaking. Hell, some of my friends have told me it's practically unlistenable. And I really thought it would be a novelty CD for me - one that I'd hear and be like "Oh yeah, that's pretty good," and then slowly stop giving it spins because it's staying power was not strong. Well all that is false. Malarkey. Tomfoolery. This record is incredible. It takes the best parts of the pop-punk and hardcore I used to love so very much (and still do, really) and throws them all together and makes me dance like an asshole around my room, playing air-metalcore guitar in front of my mirror. Plus, they all have amazing beards. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die"


2. Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light. No, this record isn't Clarity. It isn't even Bleed American. But it is a wonderful record from one of the most influential bands of our day. It contains all of the elements that made JEW legends - simple yet beautiful guitar work, amazing lyrical content, spacy guitar leads. It makes you want to laugh. It makes you want to cry. Hell, there are even parts that make your insides tingle like they haven't since the first time you heard "can you still feel the butterflies?" From front to back, the soaring chorus of "Big Casino" to the lamenting drone of "Gotta Be Somebody's Blues" to the heartwrenching verses of the closer, "Dizzy," Chase This Light is, front to back, just the latest in a long line of perfection that Jimmy Eat World continues to put out. Song To Download Before Purchase: "Big Casino"


1. Motion City Soundtrack - Even If It Kills Me. Seriously, are you surprised? From the moment I heard the first five songs back in May, I knew that this would become my favorite record of the year. I played Commit This To Memory so much that I wore the CD out and had to buy another one. Luckily, thanks to my handsome iPod, this will not be the case with EIIKM. Oh, I've been listing to it just as frequently, though, so no worries. The music remains spectacular. The lyrics remain scarily realistic and poignant. The songs flow in a perfect order, as always. It's like this band is in my head. Every word penned is so very applicable. It's simply an incredible, amazing record. And that's why it's my number one record of 2007. Song To Download Before Purchase: Don't. Just go buy the whole thing. But if I had to pick just one: "It Had To Be You"

Honorable Mentions: Sherwood - A Different Light, Paramore - Riot!, The Receiving End Of Sirens - The Earth Sings Mi Fa Mi

I have high hopes for you.

I could get used to waking up to this every so often.
--johnberard

Lie awake wondering if things could have been much different...

Yeah, I know. I've had a string of unexcused absences in the past few weeks, but I think I might be ready to come back to this. I've got a doctor's note giving me a clean bill of health. The reason for my no-showism? Basically, it came down to the fact that I had a record coming out, so I was fervently doing last-minute edits to the artwork, posting bulletins, trying to secure a date for the record release show, trying to find a new guitar player as soon as possible so he could learn all the songs for said show, etc., so finding the time and/or energy to put into writing was all but sapped during the past fortnight or so.

But now I'm refreshed. And to tell you the truth, I feel good. In the past few months, if done a lot of internalizing and self-editing. I took a self-imposed sabbatical from a very unhealthy aspect of my life that, from time to time, would consume my every thought- make me feel like time were running out to find something I've been looking for all my life. And there were too many times I, on a whim, attempted to chase down that holy grail, flinging myself full-force into the crusade. And every time, I would choose the wrong chalice. For a short time, the feeling would be immeasurable, but the rewards were always ephemeral, and it always ended in some sort of mini-catastrophe. So I took a break from the search, selling myself on the fact that the object of my quest would be revealed to me when the time was right, when we were both ready for it.

So now I'm free from my mental indentured servitude, and it's allowed me to kind of reflect on other things, to spend my time pursuing other methods of self-betterment. And here's the conclusion I have come to: I am in too many non-symbiotic relationships. I'm not speaking in terms of romantic interactions here, but just interpersonal relationships in general. I tend to give too much and take too little. I can't help it - I'm fucking nice. It makes me feel good to make others feel good. I've been that way my entire life. And while I don't ever seek it or ask for it, I enjoy reciprocation every once and a while. And I had friends (or people I once called friend) who were just oblivious to the fact that maybe, just maybe, it was okay to do nice things back. So I would continue to give and give, sometimes voluntarily, but mostly when solicited, and receive nothing in return. And it's not like I hunt down approval or recognition from others, at least I don't think I do. It's just that, fuck, do something nice for me once in a while. Or at the very least, say thank you, just acknowledge the deed, that's all - think of someone other than yourself.
For too long, I just sat and took it, storing frustration like a rechargeable battery, hoping that those people might change their ways. It never happened. So I made a decision to cut those people out of my life. And I've become a much happier person because of it.

The saddest thing is when you suddenly realize that a relationship is one sided. In most instances, I knew which way the street went, but I would still keep driving past all the spots where I could turn around and change my direction, in hopes that an oncoming lane would at some point accompany the one I was traveling in. But when it happens instantly, you're just left standing there looking at your map, and then back up at the street sign. Map. Sign. Map. Fuck. Where the fuck did this come from? And this just very recently happened to me, making me question, possibly regret, all the efforts I've poured into this relationship over the past two-and-a-half years.

I did a lot of selfless things for the other. I won't list them because to do so would certainly reveal their identity, and it's not something I want to do in an open air forum. What I will say is that I spent a lot of time, sweat, and effort on this relationship. True, many of the things I did solely because I wanted to help them out. But I also did a lot of things I was asked to do, asked to help out with, asked to take care of for them altogether. And I did it all, just because I wanted to make things better for them. Because I truly honestly cared.

But now, I could use some help. In fact, I've asked for it. A few times. And I've been blown off. And I'm hesitant to pull the "hey, remember all the shit I've done for you?" card, because it's not in my nature. I do nice things for the sake of doing nice things. Not because I want something in return. But, you see that I could use some help, fucking throw me a bone. It seems the true nature of our relationship has been revealed. Upon discussion with mutual acquaintances and friends, it seems that this a running thing with you. Others have also given themselves to you, too, and the results produced were similar to mine. You know what? Fine, don't fucking help me out. I can do it on my own. Granted, it would be easier if you could throw me an assist, but I'll fucking drive the basket on my own. But don't call me when you need something. I'm all set with it. From now on, do it without me. I can live with the fact that you don't have the mental foresight to see that I could use a hand. That happens. But you really hurt my feelings. And for now, I think I'm all set.

Although that sounded like an angry rant, it was definitely more of a therapeutic doctrine, a self-affirmation that I can return to and re-read and feel satisfied that I am finally starting the excise these demons that have possessed me for so long. After 10 years of being an adult, I'm finally starting to feel grown up. And ready.

Man, I sure do know how to pick 'em.
--johnberard

It seemed like a good idea at the time...
--johnberard

T.W.I.B. Notes

This week has been so, so, so busy. Auditioning new guitar players. Album artwork do-overs. Open mic nights where I play the part of Statler and Waldorf to Tim's Muppet Show, except Statler and Waldorf didn't have three orange-vodka-tonics in them when the heckling occurred.

Oh and then there's this handsome titanium devil:

It's my first iPod since my old original click-wheel G4 40-gig 24 lbs. black-and-white behemoth died on tour last summer. I've filled it up with all the new goodies, as well as some old stuff I've been revisiting the past few days: Face To Face, NOFX, Finch, etc. plus all the old bootleg Alkaline Trio I stole from Dr. J. I can't remember the last time I've desk-drummed along to "Don't Call Me White."

Also, I was given a very important math lesson this past Tuesday:

y=kx

Basically, what this means is this: the grandiosity of my gesticulations while telling a story(y) is directly proportional to the amount of drinks I've consumed (k). The non-zero constant (x) is my raging French-Canadian heritage.

I'm 0-3 lifetime at Wii bowling. I'm a sore loser. I'm an even sorer winner. This is completely unacceptable.

My panic research was no help.

Everyone who has ever spoken to me about anything ever knows that I constantly speak in superlatives. I have this need for everything to be ranked and rated and have a standing in my life. I do this with movies, books, people, and especially music. I'm always creating top five lists, or exclaiming that that "this book is probably in my top 10, but most definitely in the Top 20," or that "this is probably my second favorite episode of The Office." And yes, I understand that there are tons of people who do this, and have done so casually ever since Nick Hornby introduced us to Rob Fleming twelve years ago. However, I realize I borderline obsess with placing everything into a nice neat pecking order. But you know what? I rather enjoy the look of an ordered list.

There is a point to all of this, I swear.

One of my longest-lasting and still-ongoing lists is that of "The Top 5 Best Live Bands I've Ever Seen." I have seen hundreds and hundreds of bands in my life. Some spectacular. Most mediocre or unremarkable. But there are live shows that have given me chills. Or made me sing out like a schoolgirl at an N'Sync concert. They are as follows, in hierarchical order: (And here's where I get to use the "ordered list" tag!)

1. RX Bandits
   
2. Motion City Soundtrack
   
3. Elvis Costello
   
4. Wilco
   
5. Story Of The Year
   

Now, keep in mind that these are not necessarily my top 5 favorite bands of all time. These are just the best live performances I have ever seen. Their musicianship, set list, stage/light show, and sound quality all gets taken in to account. These aren't just one-offs either. Out of these five bands, I've seen four on multiple occasions, so I'm taking multiple performances in to account here.

Oh, and I promise there's a point to this.

This weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing #1 and #2 on consecutive nights.

Saturday night was RX Bandits at the esteemed Living Room. The way that they command the stage is practically unmatchable. I'm not going to delve too far in to analyzing their set, as I had already delved too far into a string of Miller Lites and was thus not at the peak of my analytical game. I will say however that both "Decrescendo" and "...And The Battle Begun" were positively mind-blowing, especially during the drum break/bridge section of the latter. At that point in the song, Chris Tsgakis (who, by the way is the most explosive drummer I have ever seen live, and I've seen Rush, so suck it) launched in to the ostinato pattern as he does on the record. He was then joined by the trombone player and the drummer for Men, Women, and Children, who were tooling on a variety of toms, bongos, congas, and other sorts of assorted percussion. The three combined in a freestyle-drum circle for a few bars, then vaulted into an amazing call-and-response session before the rest of the band rejoined and finished the tune up. Such a fucking "wow" moment.

Then, last night, was the indomitable Motion City Soundtrack at the historic Palladium in Worcester. (Like "Historic Lambeau Field", or "Historic Downtown Pawtucket" [which, alas, actually exists]). We arrived just as Metro Station began performing. I had heard a little about these guys before, but never bothered to give them a listen - I really, really enjoyed their set. I may even purchase their record!

Afterwards came the always awesome Anberlin. (Alliterations FTW! [Side story: After RX Bandits on Saturday, I went home and played Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. It's DVD interactive, so the questions get posed to you from the TV, not from the traditional cards. Well, the six categories were on the main menu, and underneath those was an option entitled "FOR THE WIN." Now, I had spent the previous nine hours at Tortilla Flats/Union Station Brewery/The Living Room, so I was pretty well on my way to a horrendous hangover the next morning, so at that point in time, an option entitled "FOR THE WIN" was just about the single greatest thing I had ever seen in my life. And I let everyone in the room know it. Several times. To their annoyance.]) They killed it, as usual. Stephen Christian knows how to whip a crowd in to a frenzy - I've seen him do it on several occasions. The highlight was definitely "Dismantle, Repair" where he jumped on top of the barricade, allowing the crowed to support him, and solicited the crowed to scream "reeeee-pair!" with him. Astounding as always.

Next was Mae. I love Mae. Mae sucks live. Third time I've seen them. Third time I've said "I love Mae, but they suck live." Meh.






I liked their new stage plot a lot. Their lighting design was really, really good too - 6 intelligent lights, LEDs on the stage for highlighting washes, LEDs on the trusses, and then the three-color wash from the Par Cans on the rigging.





Tim and I started off on the stage, but the view sucked, so we moved down into the in front of the barrier right in front of stage right. The view was perfect. As "This Is For Real" kicked in, I started to feel myself flipping out. Then "Time Turned Fragile" (fave) was launched in to and I lost it. I was bouncing around and screaming, just like last time. Except this time I wasn't drunk. Man, they're so fucking good.





It's really hard to use a Sidekick as your primary photographic apparatus. The 1.3 megapixels afforded by it somehow don't seem to cut the mustard. I did get a few good shots though.





They finished up with "My Future Freaks Me Out" and had thousands of kids screaming about how much they needed Betty to call up on their cellular phones. The stage went dark and I realized just how exhausted I was from the goings on of the weekend. My bed was a most welcome sight at half past midnight. But I can't wait to do it all again.

Zubaz ARE BACK!

Oh man! Remember these guys from the early-to-mid-90's? Remember those dudes walking around the mall wearing Gold's Gym t-shirts that were cut at the sleeves and around the mid-riff, the majestic ringlets of their greasy mullets falling gently across their upper shoulders, erstwhile sporting these fine and fashionable trousers? Well, THEY'RE BACK! Soon, there will once again be legions of Oakley-sunglass-wearing, HGH-ed up muscleheads cruising around in their IROCs and listening to "Pour Some Sugar On Me." And all because of the return of the mighty Zubaz. And I can't wait.

The website boasts that they "suggest[s] an 'in your face' attitude by the weightlifters, athletes, sports fans and other casual connoisseurs of high fashion who don [their] pants." Well, as a connoisseur of high fashion, I can say that I, for one, will be purchasing the entire line of Zubaz, including the limited edition Green Bay Packers motif.

And as the website suggests, I will definitely "be the first in your group of friends to declare your rekindled passion for Zubaz and offer unrestrained support to your favorite sports team and sporting-like activity."

I haven't posted here in a week - I feel like I've been neglecting my internet duties!

I'll make some excuses for myself, though. Last Monday and Tuesday, I moved in to my new place in Providence. Also, my parents moved to Florida, so I spent Halloween night hanging with them, and then playing Wii and drinking with my brother, who I haven't talked to in about 5 years. And then I worked Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Sunday, we tried out a new guitar player, and then it was Super Bowl XLI.5. Monday was more band practice.

...Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here. Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.

It's definitely 2007. And there's definitely a dude wearing a long
sleeve Godsmack t-shirt eating lunch at the table next to me.
--johnberard

Good riddance, you arrogant son of a bitch.

Oh and it's new manager day!

EDIT: Right after I posted this, I found a great article by Buster Olney about the magnitude of A-Rod's suck. It's a pretty good read. Especially if you can't stand the kid.

VISIBLE LULZ.

I'm on a tear today.

So this past weekend I went to New York City. Whilst in Manhattan dining at the world famous Olive Garden (which got me tons of ribbing), I snapped this lovely picture because T-Dubbs is apparently a huge fan of Fantasia:


(Remember in The Office when Michael goes to Manhattan to get some authentic New York pizza, and ends up at a Sbarro? That's what us going to Olive Garden is like.)

ANNNNNYWAYZ,

I thought this picture would make a great LOLpic, so I made two versions: the first is a nice, easy G-rated version, and the second is slightly more NSFW.

Enjoy!

TOP 3 THINGS...

...I saw while at Stop & Shop yesterday after work:

1. A circa-1987 Ford Ranger, rusted, with a hood and right front side panel that were different colors than the rest of the truck with a lawnmower in the bed. WAIT, THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART - the license plate read "DALEJR" and that's amazing.
2. A roughly ten-year old boy in full karate adornment sparring with himself on the glass doors in the freezer section. Complete with utterances. I prolly could have taken him. Prolly.
3. A grown man, my guess would be somewhere in his mid-fifties, singing Peter Cetera's "Glory Of Love" while purchasing what looked to be some sort of pet food. (Incidentally, this occurrence meshed well with occurrence #2, as "Glory Of Love" was heavily featured in the underrated 1986 epic, The Karate Kid, Part II)

You can't make this stuff up.

October is apparently new music month

Seriously, how much brand new music can one person listen to in a month's time? Apparently, if you're me, the answer is a shit ton. There have been so many phenomenal CD's that have come out (or are coming out) this month. As mentioned a few entries down, the new Dashboard Confessional record came out a few weeks ago. Last week, both Jimmy Eat World's Chase This Light and the first two volumes of Thrice's The Alchemy Index both hit stores. Besides that, the new Say Anything and Cobra Starship records came out this week. (I listened to the Cobra Starship record when it was streaming - I may pick it up. As for Say Anything... well, we'll see...)

That being said, there are three things I've heard this week that I'm totes nose over tail for:

1. First, the newest offering from my perennial faves, Saves The Day, comes out next Tuesday. It's entitled Under The Boards, and it's the second record in a three-album trilogy. I spent all day Wednesday listening to the stream. I'm definitely in to it. It's currently streaming at the band's MySpace.
   
2. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by my second swoon-of-the-week. It's The Color Fred, which initially was a side project of Taking Back Sunday's Fred Mascherino. About a week or so ago, he announced that he was leaving TBS to make this band his full time focus. I was skeptical that it just wasn't going to be that good. Well, it's not breaking any new musical ground or anything, but it is a really, really solid record. It's a lot more down-tempo and poppy than most of TBS's stuff - a lot of it a real singer/songwriterey vibe to it. Admittedly, a couple of the songs sound like they could have been rejected TBS songs ("I Hate To See You Go"), and from what I've read, that is in fact the case. But they're still very catchy and solid. Give it a listen here.
3. Ok, this record didn't come out this month, but I first heard it in its entirety yesterday afternoon, and it's sooooo good. So I shall include it here. It's called About Face by The Working Title. It's very indie/pop/rock (think Sherwood and The Forecast), and I'm actually getting more in to it the more I listen (which, with records like this, the opposite is usually the case). They have about half the record on their Purevolume page. So far the standouts for me have been "Under The Ground, " "The Mary Getaway (I Lost Everything)," and "Turbulence."

I tell you, it's gonna be really fucking hard to do a end of the year top 10 list in December...

It looks like the sky was painted this way.
--johnberard

FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

Don Mattingly is my favorite baseball player of all time.

And now, according to ESPN, he might be the new manager of the Yankees.

Stoked.

I hope you find your will to follow through

Brand New released a digital-only single yesterday entitled "Fork and Knife." In its previous incarnation, it was known as "Untitled 07" and could be found on the leaked demo sessions for The Devil And God... It was recorded during the actual album sessions, but left off the record.

Today, the song was posted to their MySpace page. Now, I am a huge Brand New fan, and I had been reading that the song sounded different than anything else they've ever done. I was hesitant to listen to it because I didn't want to be disappointed. Well, I gave it a shot, and whatever the exact opposite of disappointed is, that's what I am.

It's fucking great. I just blew $0.99 on it. You can hear it for yourself here on their MySpace page.

In offense of the genre

The new Say Anything record, In Defense Of The Genre, came out today. For weeks and weeks, all I have done is read that it's the "release of the year" on absolutepunk.net and in Alternative Press. Most of you know how reputable I deem these rags to be as it is, and I just can't wrap my head around how this band is still likened to the next coming of The Beatles. For any other band, a 27-song double-disc release would be attacked as pretentious and egotastic. But not this. No, this is bold and ambitious, the work of a mad genius. This is a masterpiece. Riiiiight.

I mean, I touched on this very subject earlier this year. And to be honest, I listened to all the songs that were pre-released from the new album. I hoped to be dissuaded from my opinion. "What is it that I'm missing here?" I thought to myself. "Why can't I understand this?" And to this day I remain baffled.

As mentioned, it doesn't help that the two prevalent scene media outlets are completely stroking this band. This morning, absolutepunk posted a review of the record. It has to be one of the most useless reviews I have ever read in my life. It basically just lets the reader know just how awesome and completely infallible the reviewer believes Max Bemis to be. For instance, the review states:

And with 27 songs, there are bound to be a few cringe-worthy lines, with gems like “Jesus died a Jew/pupils painted blue/you haters know it’s true” being one of the more ridiculous lines. But, strangely, these flaws just add to the concept of this album, that relationships are chaotic and unfocused at times, but also they can be great and change your life.

That is one of the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard in my life. Call a spade a spade - bad writing is bad writing, not life changing.

He also goes on to state:

With all the hype Say Anything has generated for this release, it’s pretty common to see a lot of hate; most of which is foolish.

That has to be one of the the most ludicrous things I have ever read in a review in my life. I mean, I've read hundreds of reviews that I've disagreed with, and even hated, but I have never come across such a preposterous statement in a review. Basically, that sentence reworded could easily read "Um, some people don't like Say Anything, and those people are obviously missing brain cells."

Also it doesn't help that absolutepunk have changed their background and color scheme to coincide with today's release. FTL.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two bands out there that are doing stuff that's "quirky" and "off-beat" like this. Only they do it better. (Incidentally, those bands are RORY and The Matches.) Now, by no means am I knocking anyone who likes Say Anything, nor am I calling in to question the musicianship and skill found within that band - I commend anyone who can make a living playing music, and for what it's worth, they're not terrible. I just don't like them. What I am calling in to question is the credibility of those who are shoving this record down the throat of the entire scene.

There are several records that come to mind that could be considered for"the best album of the year": Chase This Light, Even If It Kills Me, Under The Boards, Infinity On High, and on and on. Well, if you're going to be gay for one big release, you have to be gay for them all. You cant just be Say Anything-curious. Be fair. Give the facts and let people make their own minds up. It's getting to be as bad as corporate radio. You want to defend the genre? Knock this stupid shit off.

o, haiiiiii buildings.
--johnberard

This is what I encountered on the Mount Hope Bridge as the last leg of my 24 hour journey to New York came to an end.

It seemed fitting. Or at least literary.

What an amazing weekend. I really needed the time away. Hangs were amazing, as always.

Bffl #2, Olive Garden, bffl #1, Fantasia, new American Apparel track jackets, practical subway mastery, NYC faves, welfare mimosas, game 6, birthday playlists, Everlong requests, almost-vandalism, visible hangover...

Yeah. I'm still tired. Erica and Jess - thanks for the hospitalitude. Next time I'll make those omelettes. With eggs that weren't purchased with vengeance.
--johnberard

Praying mantis on the court and I can't be beat...

I saw a praying mantis today at work. Aren't they supposed to be good
luck? Or is it that they're a harbinger of ruin? I can't remember. I
suppose we'll find out in the next few days, now won't we.

This as close as he let me get, btw. He was sizing me up and then was
all "yo, any closer and I'm peacing out." Hence the remote picture.
--johnberard

THIS.
--johnberard

You could be mine, but you're way outta line.

I just found out today that Slash from Guns N' Roses/Velvet Revolver will be taking a page from the Axl Rose book and penning his own autobiography. (Whoa bad pun totally not intended). Anyway, I stumbled across an excerpt from it. When I started reading, I was all "okay, this is kinda like the Motley Crue book, which I enjoyed, so I'll keep reading." Here's a very small excerpt:

"I should have been drawing the little demon men that I could never quite see or seem to capture on film - believe me, I tried. As soon as I started to speedball regularly, those little guys were everywhere. They were small, wiry, translucent characters that I saw from afar until eventually they'd crawl up my jacket whenever I got high. I wanted to get to know them in a way; as I lay on the floor, waiting for my heart rate to relax, I'd watch the little Cirque du Soleil show that those guys would put on all over the room. I often thought about waking Megan up so that she could check it out. I even took pictures of them in the mirror when I found them perched on my shoulder and in my hair. I started to talk about them and see them so clearly that I even freaked out my drug dealer. On the rare occasion when I'd leave the house to score my drugs, I'd usually shoot up right away at his place and then start seeing those little guys crawling up my arm.

'Hey, do you see that?' I'd ask, extending my arm. 'You see that little guy, right? He's right there.'

My dealer would just stare at me expressionless. This guy was a drug dealer who was pretty used to strange junkie behaviour. 'You'd better go, man,' he say. 'You're way too out there. You should go home.' Apparently I was bad for business."

Yeah. And it then it gets more interesting.

Read the rest of the excerpt here.

Mah weekend, let me show it to you.

I worked sound for a puppet show.

It was put on by a Canadian puppet troupe.

They also TOTALLY said "eh" after everything. MYTH CONFIRMED.
--johnberard

Keep Your Mouth Shut, Keep Your Guard Up - I Swear I'll Make It Right.

With hesitance, I picked the new Dashboard Confessional record up on Friday afternoon. I say I did so with hesitance because I had flashbacks to loyally buying Dusk And Summer a few years ago, expecting maybe a A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar sequel, and being horribly disappointed. However, at the suggestion of Jessica, who had written a short review of it early last week, I caved and bought it. Well that turned out to be the suggestion of the month.

The first thing that struck me about the album is the noticeable "regression" in to the classic Dashboard sound. All the guitars on the record are acoustic, and about half of the songs are just Chris Carrabba and his guitar. The other half of the songs are peppered tastefully with other instruments, but the band never trespasses in to the territory of electric guitars. The songs are raw and organic, and the production compliments the songs exquisitely.

The thing that made Dashboard huge was the fact that Carrabba had a way of penning lyrics that evoked raw emotion in us. The way he phrased his heartache and anguish made us all go "I've never been able to put words to that emotion when I've felt it, but this - THIS is exactly what I feel, this is how I hurt." It was like he was inside our heads - like he had a pulse on every emotion we had. Or was it that, not only could he understand us and speak for us, but he was one of us. He was just like us.

With Dusk And Summer, Carrabba seemed to lose some of that unpolished emotion. The songs were cookie cutter and the words and music just didn't resonate with us like they used to. Had he lost his hold over us? I thought maybe he had. But then I bought The Shade Of Poison Trees.

While the first three records focused mainly on the catastrophe of heartbreak and the loneliness of unrequited adulation, Shade deals with a broader variety of subjects. However, it still manages to lead us to those sing-until-your-lungs-give-out moments we discovered when we heard the first chorus of "Screaming Infidelities." "Thick As Thieves" and "The Widow's Peak" deal with the imperfections and realities of being in a serious, functioning relationship, while "Watch For The Mines" and "Little Bombs" deal with shadiness and lies of a so-called friend. The content is slightly more adult, as if the lyrics are maturing right along with us while the music remains as stirring as it always has.

All this maturity aside, though, Carrabba doesn't completely stray from his old standbys of languishing for the attention of another person ("The Rush") or the simple, inherent desire to be loved ("These Bones") which first gave him a place in our hearts and on our emo playlists.

Forgive my manner of speaking
I know it's quick, but the clock is still ticking
And I've got a few words left burning holes on my tongue
I've been saving them
So lay with me

I could use the company

You could help me ease
These bones

I've owned this record for roughly 60 hours, and I've listened through it close to 25 times. It's the perfect compliment to the other emo record I've been obsessed with for the past week (Jimmy Eat World's Chase This Light, which will be reviewed here soon, obvsly.) It caused me to break the entire Dashboard catalog out (Man, I can't remember the last time I sang along to "The Good Fight") and have myself a circa-2004 emo-thon last night. But that's why we listen to music. It helps us to express things we cannot express solely by ourselves. It allows us to say the things we're meaning to say and get out what we normally couldn't. And good ol' reliable Dashboard Confessional is once again there to take us by the arm and lead the way.

Looking back now, I'm not sure how we made it through - not all of us, but most.

Sometimes I look back on what bands have gotten me where I am today musically. Usually, those thoughts bring me back to my pre-driver's license years of 1995-1996. At the time I was in to straight-up-Lookout! Records-era pop punk. I was spinning Screeching Weasel and The Queers and The Mr. T Experience and The Hi-Fives and dutch rolling my jeans over my Chucks or combat boots and wearing a choke collar around my neck held in place with a diaper-sized safety pin. Then I found the Bosstones.

The first song I can remember hearing was "Where'd You Go?" on WBRU. The next day, I asked one of the guys I worked with if he had ever heard of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. He looked at me like I was a retard, pulled out his CD book, (remember carrying those bad boys around? Wait, I still do...) and popped in Devil's Night Out for me. I loved it. I never listened to bands with horns before (save for my parents spinning Chicago records during their infrequent housecleaning sessions). I loved it. I went out and bought Ska-Core, The Devil, And More, which was the EP with "Someday I Suppose" and a couple covers and live tracks. (Incidentally, I would later work with one of the guys who engineered this record. I learned later that this gentleman destroyed Donny Wahlberg's record on the Pac-Man machine at Normandy Studios during the recording of Hangin' Tough. Apparently, Donny was not pleased.) I was hooked.

I stayed with them for the rest of their tenure - through the highest high with Let's Face It (which received an honorable mention in my All Time Desert Island Top 5 Flawless Records post a few months ago) to the utter disappointment and critical failure that was Pay Attention (Incidentally, I'm one of the seven people on the planet that celebrated this record) and their swan song, aptly named A Jacknife To A Swan.

And then they announced they were breaking up. Joe Gittleman was busy with the ill-fated Avoid One Thing. Sirois joined up with Nate Albert's new project, The Street Dogs. Ben Carr (who worked with my mom at Starbucks, incidentally) wanted to spend more time with his family, and Dicky, obviously, moved to L.A. to announce for Jimmy Kimmel. I went to their last Providence show, which was also the last show I ever attended at old Lupo's, and remember just going absolutely ape-shit. I knew that it was the last I would ever see of them, and a coversation a few weeks later with Joe The Kid validated this. One thing was for certain - a big part of my formative musical identity was gone.

Years later (or 4 months ago) I would name the Bosstones as one of the 5 bands from 1990 on that I would love to see re-united.

And then today, I received a bulletin from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones official MySpace page:

ATTENTION!!!
AT 12:00PM EST THERE WILL BE A MAJOR BOSSTONES ANNOUNCEMENT MADE ON WBCN IN BOSTON. YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN LIVE @ WBCN.COM

"No way." I thought. "NO WAY." In lolcat. "NOWAI!!" And then an hour later:

WWW.BOSSTONESMUSIC.COM

Needless to say, I'm ecstatic. It's been over four years since I have seen these guys on stage. And apparently that was long enough. The Bosstones are back, if only for a few select dates. For me, it's like being a kid again - it just brings me back to a simpler time in my life when I had to worry about curfews and being caught smoking and praying to god that my dad's old VW was going to make it up the icy hill to school. And I can't fucking wait.

EDIT: From my "reunited" journal: "Those were the sweatiest, smokiest, drunkest shows I've ever been to, and what I wouldn't give to see them play just one more time..." Still true.

My mom's dog just had puppies! I can haz?
--johnberard

These are the words I wish I wrote down.

I don't know what it is, but I've been connecting with so much music as of late that it's a little scary. I mean, I am listening to music constantly, but I've always done that. Within the last few months, though, I've really been connecting with a lot of it. Maybe it's because I've found a strong core of 5 to 6 records that have really made a lyrical impact on me. As I wrote that sentence, it just occurred to me that I'm soundtracking my life again. I'm not sure what causes me to do this, but I think it's a subconscious security blanket.

Just remember always counting down to a new start
You always knew the truth
And the world would spin around you
Are you dizzy yet?

I went to make a mix on Monday. (I am currently sans iPod, so my mixes are all limited to whatever a single CDR can hold.) For some reason, I've done this for the past few useless holidays - seriously, I have a mix labeled "Victory Day." Not that the songs have anything to do with Victory Day, it's just the random holiday I made it on. Regardless, I started off by putting some songs I haven't listened to in a while on it: Soul Asylum's "Somebody To Shove," Oasis' "Slide Away," Foo Fighters' "Baker Street," etc. At some point, though, I just started unthinkingly picking songs, and when I went back to listen, I was kind of taken aback at what had found it's way on the playlist.

We all bloom faster in an oncoming disaster.

Wilco's "When You Wake Up Feeling Old," Norah Jones' "Be My Somebody," Lucinda Williams' "Still I Long For Your Kiss," Midtown's "Waiting For The News," The Specials' "You're Wondering Now," Spill Canvas' "Sunsets And Car Crashes," and so on. I mean COME ON? Seriously? I can not haz teh emo? I can not haz sad bastard music?

Who knows anything
I don't know
There are so many things
I must leave alone
Some strange person is calling you their home
Can you be where you want to be?

I suppose I was just in a mood that day. And then I got a copy of the new Jimmy Eat World. OBSESSED. I've probably listened to it a dozen times already. And I've been looking up the lyrics online as I go. GET OUT OF MAH HEAD PLZ.

I sure want to get back on track
And I'’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me.

Oh, and DO WANT:

I could worry myself to death about you - I hope you get there safely.

So yesterday was really bittersweet. It most definitely had its ups and downs, and I've decided to list them in a pro/con format.

PRO. It was Columbus Day, so I had the day off from work and got to sleep in.

CON. I didn't sleep in. I was awoken at 9:30 by a fucking marching band cruising down my street. Oh hai parade.

PRO. They were playing "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor.

CON. Hangoverz.

PRO. Poorman finished the mixes for the record, so Jeff, Tim, and I went to the studio to get our first listens. OMG. SO. FUCKING. EXCITED.

CON. While at the studio, we got the news that Hot Rod Circuit was calling it quits.

PRO. The mixes sound fan-fucking tastic. They go off to be mastered at the end of the month.

CON. ALL ABOARD THE FAILBOAT.

PRO. I was shown my (and now your) new favorite website: LOLSecretz. It's a combination of lolcats and Post/LJ Secrets. Prepare to LOL for days.

OK, This is day one of my upcoming 11 straight days of work. Good times!

You CAN go back.

I touched on this subject briefly the other day, but I cannot explain how much I am looking forward to my pending change of address.

This morning, I did some work downtown. It was a cool, overcast morning, and for the first time all month, it actually felt like October. The breeze was blowing the crisp autumn air right up Smith Hill, whipping the flags flying in front of the state house so that they were almost perpetually straight. After a bit of work, I headed over to Thayer Street for a little breakfast. There wasn't much time to eat, so The Creperie was out (as were the four places on Wickenden that I passed on my way, which were so busy that the waiting crowd was spilling out on to the street). I opted for Au Bon Pain, which I'm normally not a fan of, but for some reason, I sat there eating my egg and cheese sandwich (on ciabatta, by the way, which I've never had, but I might be slightly enamored with) and drinking my tea (which it is finally cold enough for), I just felt - I dunno - home.

It really made me miss all the little things that I used to do. And it made me look forward to doing them again. 7am runs down Blackstone Boulevard. Fresh asparagus ravioli from Venda. Sunday brunches on Hope Street. Post-Sunday-brunch sangria sessions at the Flats. Time-wasting at the Brown Bookstore. Frisbee at India Point. Caserta pizza runs. Hangs on the Hot Club deck. And so on.

I guess all this was triggered by the issue of Rhode Island Monthly I read this afternoon. There were two features that really struck me and kind of instilled all this renewed nostalgia. First was an article about the best features of Federal Hill. Which, incidentally, was mostly about food that I can't eat. But still, I spent the first two-and-a-half years of my tenure in Providence living on the hill, and it brought those many nights of Sicialia's stuffed pizzas back from the recesses of my memory. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about it... The second story was a reflection written by Buddy Cianci. In it, he talked about his time in prison, the things that he'd learned and thought about while there, and the changes he's made in his life. While unrelated to my current infatuation with Providence, he said something that really struck a chord with me. Cianci said "Success is measured by reaching into your soul and saying 'What [would] make me happy, and how do I achieve those goals?'" and it really justified the self-reflection that I've been dabbling in as of late.

It's going to be nice to be home. Even though I wasn't ever far away, it still felt like I was. See you in a couple weeks, my dear city.

And, now for no particular reason, here is a lolruth.

OMFG.

I don't know what to do with you, because you, you don't know what you do to me.

I just don't understand how things like this happen. I mean seriously, things are going along just great, they best they have all year, and then suddenly, like Keyser Soze, all the momentum just disappears. And now I'm left standing here scratching my head, dumbstruck, mouth agape, wondering what the fuck is going on.

For reals, the New York Yankees have the best record since the All-Star break. Chien-Ming Wang has pitched amazingly all summer (he'll come in third in the Cy Young voting behind Beckett and Sabbathia), A-Rod will be the unanimous AL MVP, Posada had a career year (at the age of 35, mind you), and Joba Chamberlain comes out of left field (literally, that's where the bullpen is) to pitch 24 innings of flawless baseball, save for a single home run he allowed.

But now here it is, baseball in October, and for the third year in a row, the Yankee ship is lilting dangerously, and is one more poorly played game away from sinking and bringing the promise of that 27th Championship down with it yet again. And I don't get it. Consider this:

• Wang, the staff ace, gets lit up for 9 hits, 8 runs (all earned), and 2 home runs in 4 2/3 innings of work on Thursday night. His ERA for 2007: 3.70. His ERA for the 2007 postseason: 15.43.
• Alex Rodriguez went 0-2 with 2 walks in Game 1, and last night in Game 2, he went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts. A-Rod is now 4-47 (.085) with zero RBI in his last 14 postseason games.
• And Joba. Last night, in 1 2/3 of an inning, the normally lights-out Chamberlain walked 2 batters, hit another, threw 2 wild pitches, allowed the tying run to score, and earned himself a blown save.
  

Oh, and then there was the situation with the bugs. But while the gnats were busy breeding in the moist rolls of fat on Joba's neck, the Indians were seemingly unaffected and seized the opportunity to go up 2-0 in the series.

Le siiiigh. The Yankees are becoming as hapless as the pre-2004 Red Sox used to be. But they're not the loveable losers the Red Sox were, or the Cubs are now. They're classic choke artists - frustrating and maddening and liable to give their elderly fans heart attacks at any time.

Ugh, one more game to go. Will the be put out of their misery, or will they right the ship. I'm not making any predictions here, but the Rockies bandwagon will be by in a few minutes, and I've already purchased my ticket online.

DO WANT.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

First I reduced my writing frequency. Up until about July, I had been fervently updating my Buzznet page, but a severe bout of busyness and writer's block, coupled with a feeling of general apathy led me to stop altogether.

Before Buzznet, it was LiveJournal. Before that it was MySpace. Before that it was Blogspot. So I've come full circle, and decided re-use my original blogging host.

As far as recycling goes, I'm not quite sure what I'm recycling here - maybe previous journal ideas that never came to fruition. Maybe I'm recycling the idea that I actually can - and should continue to - write after giving it up for that short while. I wrote my first entry in a long time yesterday, and it felt so very good to be able to be back at the keyboard. Regardless of how recycling does or doesn't fit in the theme of this blog, I've made a determination to actually keep this one up.