I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go.

So Monday evening I was sitting in French class, trying to figure out just how long it had been since I last took a class in French. Let's do the math - that was seventh grade, that school year was 1992-1993, and I took it in the spring. 15 years. Jesus, 15 FUCKING YEARS. 

It's weird to be taking all these college level classes. In fact, it's weird to be in sort of class class at all. The first few days were strange - I've never had a problem trying something new or starting new chapters in my life - but for some reason, I felt slightly intimidated. The day before I started class, I went to Staples to buy notebooks and folders and things. Everyone else in the store was doing their back-to-school shopping, too, but they were so young. It made me feel so old. I really hadn't felt any anxiety about it up to that point, but suddenly it started to kick in.

Luckily, once I actually got on campus and saw that there were people going through the same things, I started to fall in to the groove, and now, it's like I never took 10 years off between high school and college. My study habits are the same, I've retained my quiz-taking prowess, and I've remembered at surprising amount of math. 

It's weird to talk about it to other people, because they've already done their time. They've got their degrees and have their careers, or they're in school already and have already dealt with all of this nonsense. They're in their PhD programs and studying for bar exams, and I'm taking 100-level math courses. They're done dealing with gen ed requirements and advisors and syllabi and midterms. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm behind - like I've got to catch up. Sometimes it's frustrating. But I know in four years, the playing field will be level again. I've really never been so motivated or optomistic in my life. I'm going to chase this feeling for a while. 

The Weight Of Glory

It's hard to let something go that you've wanted all your life. 

It's hard to make grown-up decisions sometimes. 

It's hard to "sell out." 

But in the end, it is for the better. Of that I am certain.

iPod (Truffle) Shuffle!

I shall now place my iPod on shuffle, listen to each song in its entirety, and then wax philosophical on said songs. We'll go to 15.

And go!

1. The Beatles  Sun King: What a way to open up! The Beatles have, and will continue to be, the best thing that ever happened to music. Everything they did was groundbreaking, and 99.9% of it was absolute brilliance. (Not brilliance: "Revolution #9") 

2. Sparta Breaking The Broken: I feel that Sparta is the red-headed stepchild of At The Drive-In. The Mars Volta gets all the press and all of the critical acclaim and all of the accolades. While they are good, I don't see the hype, especially after the past three sub-par records. Yet, somehow, they get all of the heraldry. (Note: I believe "De-Loused At The Comatorium" is absolute mastery. Everything after that has been self-indulgent wankery.) Meanwhile, Sparta has quietly released three stellar records with minimal fanfare. I bought Porcelain around the time of my 24th birthday. I was supposed to go golfing with a couple friends for said birthday, but I had gone to the bar and gotten obliterated the night before. Somehow, I managed to drive myself to the golf course, but once there, I sat in the car debating on whether or not I could play. The whole time I listened to this record. During the last song on the record, I opened my car door and tottered on the edge of barfing for several minutes. I decided couch > golf and promptly left for the confines of my home. 

3. The Lawrence Arms Fireflies: I'll be waiting with wistful elation/light sleeper, you could make my gloomy day/make this moment worth saving. I will love this band until the day I die. Quick Larry Arms story: I saw them about two years ago in Providence. After they played, I approached Chris McCaughan at the bar to relay my pleasure with their amazing set. Unfortunately, he had too much post-rock whiskey, and was barely vertical. He proceed to let me know that he "hated this town. He loved this town," and that "every time [he] plays here, he plays like fucking shit." So, I bought him another drink, thanked him, and set on my way. AWKWARD.

4. Freedy Johnston Bad Reputation: The first time I ever heard Freedy Johnston, I was 15 years old and working on the riverboat Blackstone Valley Expolorer. Each winter, we, the crew members, would have to prepare the boat for the upcoming tourist season. This consisted of taking everything off the boat - fire extinguishers, benches, life jackets, etc. - stripping the boat clean of paint, and then re-applying the previously stripped paint. After school, I would drive down to a non-descript warehouse in Vally Falls, and for the next few hours, proceed to perform tasks that I'm sure broke every child labor law there was. But at the end of the day, my hands raw from acetone and paint thinner, there's no place in the world I would have rather been. Anyway, this song was on a mix-tape one of the other guys had made (along with The Breeders' "Cannonball," Green Day's "She," and a couple Violent Femmes songs. So strange I remember all of that...) Interesting sidenote - Butch Vig from Garbage played drums on and produced this record. 

5. Taking Back Sunday One-Eighty By Summer: EMO ALERT! This was the soundtrack to my autumn of '04. I was not at a good point in my life during this time, and I can remember sitting on my couch, chain smoking Camel Lights, half-drunk, broke, and listening to Where You Want To Be on repeat. 

6. Saves The Day Firefly: There are two songs on my iPod with the word "Firefly" in the title, and they both popped up within four songs of each other (out of over 10,000). 

7. Mary Lou Lord Ron: Did you know that even though she was signed to a major record label, Mary Lou Lord continued to busk at the Park Street station on the Red Line? Kind of weird. 

8. The Audition Rep Your Clique: One time, I was at Angels And Kings, sitting in a corner having a conversation with my friend Erica, and the lead singer of this band came over to join our dialogue. We had a really nice chat with him. JUST KIDDING, he actually peed in the corner right next to me after we had both expressed our disgust to him. True story. 

9. Turbonegro Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker: DON'T SAY MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER! I fucking love Turbonegro. 

10. Lucinda Williams Concrete And Barbed Wire: She is our generation's Johnny Cash. Less the metamphetamines. I don't normally listen to country. Like AT ALL. But there's something about Lucinda that gets to me.  Maybe it's because she's so completely heartbreaking and emotional, like a country version of Chris Carraba, but more talented than Conor Oberst. Top 5 Lucinda songs:

1. "Side Of The Road" (from Lucinda Williams)
2. "Right In Time" (from Car Wheels On A Gravel Road)
3. "Essence" (from Essence)
4. "Still I Long For Your Kiss" (from Car Wheels On A Gravel Road)
5. "World Without Tears" (from World Without Tears)

11. Paul Simon Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes: "She's got diamonds everywhere! Even on the soles of her shoes!"

12. Hot Rod Circuit Consumed By Laziness: A severely underrated record. A severely underrated band. Get in to HRC. 

13. Screeching Weasel I Hate Your Guts On Sunday: This song is on the brilliantly titled How To Make Enemies And Irritate People, which features Mike Dirnt playing bass, post-Dookie success. There's a noise right before the first song on the album, and my friend John and I have have spent years debating whether or not that sound is indeed flatulence. I wish someone would clear this up for me. 

14. Less Than Jake Krazy Glue: The first time I re-merchandised and rewired the live room at Guitar Center, it took me four straight 10-hour days. I listened to this record on repeat the entire time. That's not a joke. That's like 12 times a day. To this day, whenever I hear a song off Losing Streak, I can still smell the brand new carpeting that covers the sides of a Yamaha speaker cabinet. 

15. Fall Out Boy Golden: I think this song is completely unnecessary and it's completely indulgent and does not add anything to an erstwhile amazing record. I skip it every time, and will continue to do so.