I don't know what to do with you, because you, you don't know what you do to me.

I just don't understand how things like this happen. I mean seriously, things are going along just great, they best they have all year, and then suddenly, like Keyser Soze, all the momentum just disappears. And now I'm left standing here scratching my head, dumbstruck, mouth agape, wondering what the fuck is going on.

For reals, the New York Yankees have the best record since the All-Star break. Chien-Ming Wang has pitched amazingly all summer (he'll come in third in the Cy Young voting behind Beckett and Sabbathia), A-Rod will be the unanimous AL MVP, Posada had a career year (at the age of 35, mind you), and Joba Chamberlain comes out of left field (literally, that's where the bullpen is) to pitch 24 innings of flawless baseball, save for a single home run he allowed.

But now here it is, baseball in October, and for the third year in a row, the Yankee ship is lilting dangerously, and is one more poorly played game away from sinking and bringing the promise of that 27th Championship down with it yet again. And I don't get it. Consider this:

• Wang, the staff ace, gets lit up for 9 hits, 8 runs (all earned), and 2 home runs in 4 2/3 innings of work on Thursday night. His ERA for 2007: 3.70. His ERA for the 2007 postseason: 15.43.
• Alex Rodriguez went 0-2 with 2 walks in Game 1, and last night in Game 2, he went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts. A-Rod is now 4-47 (.085) with zero RBI in his last 14 postseason games.
• And Joba. Last night, in 1 2/3 of an inning, the normally lights-out Chamberlain walked 2 batters, hit another, threw 2 wild pitches, allowed the tying run to score, and earned himself a blown save.
  

Oh, and then there was the situation with the bugs. But while the gnats were busy breeding in the moist rolls of fat on Joba's neck, the Indians were seemingly unaffected and seized the opportunity to go up 2-0 in the series.

Le siiiigh. The Yankees are becoming as hapless as the pre-2004 Red Sox used to be. But they're not the loveable losers the Red Sox were, or the Cubs are now. They're classic choke artists - frustrating and maddening and liable to give their elderly fans heart attacks at any time.

Ugh, one more game to go. Will the be put out of their misery, or will they right the ship. I'm not making any predictions here, but the Rockies bandwagon will be by in a few minutes, and I've already purchased my ticket online.