How To Start Your Own Clothing Company

Yes, I haven't written in a while. Since December, in fact. I am aware of this. Most people stopped checking in months ago. I respect that. But I'm going to try to start writing in this fairly often, so add me/re-add me to your Google Reader and roll with the punches.

So a few weeks ago, my band was selected to play the July 23rd stop on Warped Tour, which despite a small monsoon and tornado warnings, was a blast. As several people are aware, I am very critical of the music industry, especially as it stands right now. Talent is severely watered down, and most of the "it" scene bands sound exactly the fucking same. (I'm looking at you, Alltimemetrodangerousmaineforeverthesickestsummerstationiswhatweaimfor.) Warped did nothing to to prove me wrong. It was, for the most part, an amalgamation of shitty sugar-pop punk bands and cookie-cutter screametal bands. Sure, there were several standouts - mainly the three bands in total that I actually wanted to see (Anberlin/SOTY/FYS), but for the most part, I could have stayed home watching a Spongebob marathon, and I would have been more entertained.

One thing did catch my attention while I was there, though. Not only does every band share the exact same formula, but so does every clothing company. Apparently, if you want to start your own clothing line, all you have to do is follow there simple steps:

1. Pirate a copy of Photoshop.
2. Download a bunch of free brush sets from the intarwebs.
   
3. Create designs that consist of a) a brush of an object (anchors, birds, and guns are all can't fail designs) and a splatter brush behind it (paint or blood - either works), or b) simple block type (must be left-aligned and font must be sans-serif).
   
4. Colors that can be used: black, white, raspberry blue, hot pink, anything fluorescent. These are the only colors to be used. (Note: you can also use metallic gold or silver ink)
   
5. Send your shitty design to a t-shirt/merch company for mass production.
6. PROFIT!

Yes, kids is is that easy! You too can become the DO WANT t-shirt company of the bustling "scene" scene!

That being said, I do much of the design for my band. I design all of our t-shirts, stickers, etc., but I would never call myself a designer. I'm just relatively proficient at Photoshop and Illustrator, and I have a semblance of artistic aptitude. But that doesn't make me a fucking fashion designer, and in no way does it license me to start my own clothing line. Yeah, I sometimes use brushes that I've found on the world wide nets and incorporate them in to my designs. But I don't call it my own original artwork, and I certainly don't use it as the only design on the fucking article of clothing. But I know some people who do:

Whilst walking by the tent of a certain merch company at Warped Tour, I noticed a t-shirt that had an anchor on it. And nothing else. Just the anchor. I thought "Man, that anchor looks familiar!" Know why? Because I used it in a sticker design I was messing around with:

But it was the only fucking thing on the t-shirt. That's it. Just a fucking free brush. No effort or thought or skill or anything. And it was being passed off as "fashion design"? Fucking please.

THE SHIRT IN QUESTION (Six Barrel Hooliguns):

See? The same exact brush. Ok, fine, so someone who calls themselves a fashion designer happened to find the same set of brushes as I did and used on one a t-shirt. Fucking lame? Yes. Coincidence? Perhaps. Only, I found two other clothing companies with the same exact anchor design (with nothing else on the shirt besides the anchor in question):

SHIRT IN QUESTION #2 (Heroine Clothing)
SHIRT IN QUESTION #3 (found on a website, "designer" unknown)

LAME. So not only is the music scene chock full of watered-down no-talent assclowns, but so is the fashion scene that goes right along with it. Nice.