VISIBLE LULZ.

I'm on a tear today.

So this past weekend I went to New York City. Whilst in Manhattan dining at the world famous Olive Garden (which got me tons of ribbing), I snapped this lovely picture because T-Dubbs is apparently a huge fan of Fantasia:


(Remember in The Office when Michael goes to Manhattan to get some authentic New York pizza, and ends up at a Sbarro? That's what us going to Olive Garden is like.)

ANNNNNYWAYZ,

I thought this picture would make a great LOLpic, so I made two versions: the first is a nice, easy G-rated version, and the second is slightly more NSFW.

Enjoy!

TOP 3 THINGS...

...I saw while at Stop & Shop yesterday after work:

1. A circa-1987 Ford Ranger, rusted, with a hood and right front side panel that were different colors than the rest of the truck with a lawnmower in the bed. WAIT, THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART - the license plate read "DALEJR" and that's amazing.
2. A roughly ten-year old boy in full karate adornment sparring with himself on the glass doors in the freezer section. Complete with utterances. I prolly could have taken him. Prolly.
3. A grown man, my guess would be somewhere in his mid-fifties, singing Peter Cetera's "Glory Of Love" while purchasing what looked to be some sort of pet food. (Incidentally, this occurrence meshed well with occurrence #2, as "Glory Of Love" was heavily featured in the underrated 1986 epic, The Karate Kid, Part II)

You can't make this stuff up.

October is apparently new music month

Seriously, how much brand new music can one person listen to in a month's time? Apparently, if you're me, the answer is a shit ton. There have been so many phenomenal CD's that have come out (or are coming out) this month. As mentioned a few entries down, the new Dashboard Confessional record came out a few weeks ago. Last week, both Jimmy Eat World's Chase This Light and the first two volumes of Thrice's The Alchemy Index both hit stores. Besides that, the new Say Anything and Cobra Starship records came out this week. (I listened to the Cobra Starship record when it was streaming - I may pick it up. As for Say Anything... well, we'll see...)

That being said, there are three things I've heard this week that I'm totes nose over tail for:

1. First, the newest offering from my perennial faves, Saves The Day, comes out next Tuesday. It's entitled Under The Boards, and it's the second record in a three-album trilogy. I spent all day Wednesday listening to the stream. I'm definitely in to it. It's currently streaming at the band's MySpace.
   
2. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by my second swoon-of-the-week. It's The Color Fred, which initially was a side project of Taking Back Sunday's Fred Mascherino. About a week or so ago, he announced that he was leaving TBS to make this band his full time focus. I was skeptical that it just wasn't going to be that good. Well, it's not breaking any new musical ground or anything, but it is a really, really solid record. It's a lot more down-tempo and poppy than most of TBS's stuff - a lot of it a real singer/songwriterey vibe to it. Admittedly, a couple of the songs sound like they could have been rejected TBS songs ("I Hate To See You Go"), and from what I've read, that is in fact the case. But they're still very catchy and solid. Give it a listen here.
3. Ok, this record didn't come out this month, but I first heard it in its entirety yesterday afternoon, and it's sooooo good. So I shall include it here. It's called About Face by The Working Title. It's very indie/pop/rock (think Sherwood and The Forecast), and I'm actually getting more in to it the more I listen (which, with records like this, the opposite is usually the case). They have about half the record on their Purevolume page. So far the standouts for me have been "Under The Ground, " "The Mary Getaway (I Lost Everything)," and "Turbulence."

I tell you, it's gonna be really fucking hard to do a end of the year top 10 list in December...

It looks like the sky was painted this way.
--johnberard

FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

Don Mattingly is my favorite baseball player of all time.

And now, according to ESPN, he might be the new manager of the Yankees.

Stoked.

I hope you find your will to follow through

Brand New released a digital-only single yesterday entitled "Fork and Knife." In its previous incarnation, it was known as "Untitled 07" and could be found on the leaked demo sessions for The Devil And God... It was recorded during the actual album sessions, but left off the record.

Today, the song was posted to their MySpace page. Now, I am a huge Brand New fan, and I had been reading that the song sounded different than anything else they've ever done. I was hesitant to listen to it because I didn't want to be disappointed. Well, I gave it a shot, and whatever the exact opposite of disappointed is, that's what I am.

It's fucking great. I just blew $0.99 on it. You can hear it for yourself here on their MySpace page.

In offense of the genre

The new Say Anything record, In Defense Of The Genre, came out today. For weeks and weeks, all I have done is read that it's the "release of the year" on absolutepunk.net and in Alternative Press. Most of you know how reputable I deem these rags to be as it is, and I just can't wrap my head around how this band is still likened to the next coming of The Beatles. For any other band, a 27-song double-disc release would be attacked as pretentious and egotastic. But not this. No, this is bold and ambitious, the work of a mad genius. This is a masterpiece. Riiiiight.

I mean, I touched on this very subject earlier this year. And to be honest, I listened to all the songs that were pre-released from the new album. I hoped to be dissuaded from my opinion. "What is it that I'm missing here?" I thought to myself. "Why can't I understand this?" And to this day I remain baffled.

As mentioned, it doesn't help that the two prevalent scene media outlets are completely stroking this band. This morning, absolutepunk posted a review of the record. It has to be one of the most useless reviews I have ever read in my life. It basically just lets the reader know just how awesome and completely infallible the reviewer believes Max Bemis to be. For instance, the review states:

And with 27 songs, there are bound to be a few cringe-worthy lines, with gems like “Jesus died a Jew/pupils painted blue/you haters know it’s true” being one of the more ridiculous lines. But, strangely, these flaws just add to the concept of this album, that relationships are chaotic and unfocused at times, but also they can be great and change your life.

That is one of the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard in my life. Call a spade a spade - bad writing is bad writing, not life changing.

He also goes on to state:

With all the hype Say Anything has generated for this release, it’s pretty common to see a lot of hate; most of which is foolish.

That has to be one of the the most ludicrous things I have ever read in a review in my life. I mean, I've read hundreds of reviews that I've disagreed with, and even hated, but I have never come across such a preposterous statement in a review. Basically, that sentence reworded could easily read "Um, some people don't like Say Anything, and those people are obviously missing brain cells."

Also it doesn't help that absolutepunk have changed their background and color scheme to coincide with today's release. FTL.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two bands out there that are doing stuff that's "quirky" and "off-beat" like this. Only they do it better. (Incidentally, those bands are RORY and The Matches.) Now, by no means am I knocking anyone who likes Say Anything, nor am I calling in to question the musicianship and skill found within that band - I commend anyone who can make a living playing music, and for what it's worth, they're not terrible. I just don't like them. What I am calling in to question is the credibility of those who are shoving this record down the throat of the entire scene.

There are several records that come to mind that could be considered for"the best album of the year": Chase This Light, Even If It Kills Me, Under The Boards, Infinity On High, and on and on. Well, if you're going to be gay for one big release, you have to be gay for them all. You cant just be Say Anything-curious. Be fair. Give the facts and let people make their own minds up. It's getting to be as bad as corporate radio. You want to defend the genre? Knock this stupid shit off.

o, haiiiiii buildings.
--johnberard

This is what I encountered on the Mount Hope Bridge as the last leg of my 24 hour journey to New York came to an end.

It seemed fitting. Or at least literary.

What an amazing weekend. I really needed the time away. Hangs were amazing, as always.

Bffl #2, Olive Garden, bffl #1, Fantasia, new American Apparel track jackets, practical subway mastery, NYC faves, welfare mimosas, game 6, birthday playlists, Everlong requests, almost-vandalism, visible hangover...

Yeah. I'm still tired. Erica and Jess - thanks for the hospitalitude. Next time I'll make those omelettes. With eggs that weren't purchased with vengeance.
--johnberard

Praying mantis on the court and I can't be beat...

I saw a praying mantis today at work. Aren't they supposed to be good
luck? Or is it that they're a harbinger of ruin? I can't remember. I
suppose we'll find out in the next few days, now won't we.

This as close as he let me get, btw. He was sizing me up and then was
all "yo, any closer and I'm peacing out." Hence the remote picture.
--johnberard

THIS.
--johnberard

You could be mine, but you're way outta line.

I just found out today that Slash from Guns N' Roses/Velvet Revolver will be taking a page from the Axl Rose book and penning his own autobiography. (Whoa bad pun totally not intended). Anyway, I stumbled across an excerpt from it. When I started reading, I was all "okay, this is kinda like the Motley Crue book, which I enjoyed, so I'll keep reading." Here's a very small excerpt:

"I should have been drawing the little demon men that I could never quite see or seem to capture on film - believe me, I tried. As soon as I started to speedball regularly, those little guys were everywhere. They were small, wiry, translucent characters that I saw from afar until eventually they'd crawl up my jacket whenever I got high. I wanted to get to know them in a way; as I lay on the floor, waiting for my heart rate to relax, I'd watch the little Cirque du Soleil show that those guys would put on all over the room. I often thought about waking Megan up so that she could check it out. I even took pictures of them in the mirror when I found them perched on my shoulder and in my hair. I started to talk about them and see them so clearly that I even freaked out my drug dealer. On the rare occasion when I'd leave the house to score my drugs, I'd usually shoot up right away at his place and then start seeing those little guys crawling up my arm.

'Hey, do you see that?' I'd ask, extending my arm. 'You see that little guy, right? He's right there.'

My dealer would just stare at me expressionless. This guy was a drug dealer who was pretty used to strange junkie behaviour. 'You'd better go, man,' he say. 'You're way too out there. You should go home.' Apparently I was bad for business."

Yeah. And it then it gets more interesting.

Read the rest of the excerpt here.

Mah weekend, let me show it to you.

I worked sound for a puppet show.

It was put on by a Canadian puppet troupe.

They also TOTALLY said "eh" after everything. MYTH CONFIRMED.
--johnberard

Keep Your Mouth Shut, Keep Your Guard Up - I Swear I'll Make It Right.

With hesitance, I picked the new Dashboard Confessional record up on Friday afternoon. I say I did so with hesitance because I had flashbacks to loyally buying Dusk And Summer a few years ago, expecting maybe a A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar sequel, and being horribly disappointed. However, at the suggestion of Jessica, who had written a short review of it early last week, I caved and bought it. Well that turned out to be the suggestion of the month.

The first thing that struck me about the album is the noticeable "regression" in to the classic Dashboard sound. All the guitars on the record are acoustic, and about half of the songs are just Chris Carrabba and his guitar. The other half of the songs are peppered tastefully with other instruments, but the band never trespasses in to the territory of electric guitars. The songs are raw and organic, and the production compliments the songs exquisitely.

The thing that made Dashboard huge was the fact that Carrabba had a way of penning lyrics that evoked raw emotion in us. The way he phrased his heartache and anguish made us all go "I've never been able to put words to that emotion when I've felt it, but this - THIS is exactly what I feel, this is how I hurt." It was like he was inside our heads - like he had a pulse on every emotion we had. Or was it that, not only could he understand us and speak for us, but he was one of us. He was just like us.

With Dusk And Summer, Carrabba seemed to lose some of that unpolished emotion. The songs were cookie cutter and the words and music just didn't resonate with us like they used to. Had he lost his hold over us? I thought maybe he had. But then I bought The Shade Of Poison Trees.

While the first three records focused mainly on the catastrophe of heartbreak and the loneliness of unrequited adulation, Shade deals with a broader variety of subjects. However, it still manages to lead us to those sing-until-your-lungs-give-out moments we discovered when we heard the first chorus of "Screaming Infidelities." "Thick As Thieves" and "The Widow's Peak" deal with the imperfections and realities of being in a serious, functioning relationship, while "Watch For The Mines" and "Little Bombs" deal with shadiness and lies of a so-called friend. The content is slightly more adult, as if the lyrics are maturing right along with us while the music remains as stirring as it always has.

All this maturity aside, though, Carrabba doesn't completely stray from his old standbys of languishing for the attention of another person ("The Rush") or the simple, inherent desire to be loved ("These Bones") which first gave him a place in our hearts and on our emo playlists.

Forgive my manner of speaking
I know it's quick, but the clock is still ticking
And I've got a few words left burning holes on my tongue
I've been saving them
So lay with me

I could use the company

You could help me ease
These bones

I've owned this record for roughly 60 hours, and I've listened through it close to 25 times. It's the perfect compliment to the other emo record I've been obsessed with for the past week (Jimmy Eat World's Chase This Light, which will be reviewed here soon, obvsly.) It caused me to break the entire Dashboard catalog out (Man, I can't remember the last time I sang along to "The Good Fight") and have myself a circa-2004 emo-thon last night. But that's why we listen to music. It helps us to express things we cannot express solely by ourselves. It allows us to say the things we're meaning to say and get out what we normally couldn't. And good ol' reliable Dashboard Confessional is once again there to take us by the arm and lead the way.

Looking back now, I'm not sure how we made it through - not all of us, but most.

Sometimes I look back on what bands have gotten me where I am today musically. Usually, those thoughts bring me back to my pre-driver's license years of 1995-1996. At the time I was in to straight-up-Lookout! Records-era pop punk. I was spinning Screeching Weasel and The Queers and The Mr. T Experience and The Hi-Fives and dutch rolling my jeans over my Chucks or combat boots and wearing a choke collar around my neck held in place with a diaper-sized safety pin. Then I found the Bosstones.

The first song I can remember hearing was "Where'd You Go?" on WBRU. The next day, I asked one of the guys I worked with if he had ever heard of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. He looked at me like I was a retard, pulled out his CD book, (remember carrying those bad boys around? Wait, I still do...) and popped in Devil's Night Out for me. I loved it. I never listened to bands with horns before (save for my parents spinning Chicago records during their infrequent housecleaning sessions). I loved it. I went out and bought Ska-Core, The Devil, And More, which was the EP with "Someday I Suppose" and a couple covers and live tracks. (Incidentally, I would later work with one of the guys who engineered this record. I learned later that this gentleman destroyed Donny Wahlberg's record on the Pac-Man machine at Normandy Studios during the recording of Hangin' Tough. Apparently, Donny was not pleased.) I was hooked.

I stayed with them for the rest of their tenure - through the highest high with Let's Face It (which received an honorable mention in my All Time Desert Island Top 5 Flawless Records post a few months ago) to the utter disappointment and critical failure that was Pay Attention (Incidentally, I'm one of the seven people on the planet that celebrated this record) and their swan song, aptly named A Jacknife To A Swan.

And then they announced they were breaking up. Joe Gittleman was busy with the ill-fated Avoid One Thing. Sirois joined up with Nate Albert's new project, The Street Dogs. Ben Carr (who worked with my mom at Starbucks, incidentally) wanted to spend more time with his family, and Dicky, obviously, moved to L.A. to announce for Jimmy Kimmel. I went to their last Providence show, which was also the last show I ever attended at old Lupo's, and remember just going absolutely ape-shit. I knew that it was the last I would ever see of them, and a coversation a few weeks later with Joe The Kid validated this. One thing was for certain - a big part of my formative musical identity was gone.

Years later (or 4 months ago) I would name the Bosstones as one of the 5 bands from 1990 on that I would love to see re-united.

And then today, I received a bulletin from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones official MySpace page:

ATTENTION!!!
AT 12:00PM EST THERE WILL BE A MAJOR BOSSTONES ANNOUNCEMENT MADE ON WBCN IN BOSTON. YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN LIVE @ WBCN.COM

"No way." I thought. "NO WAY." In lolcat. "NOWAI!!" And then an hour later:

WWW.BOSSTONESMUSIC.COM

Needless to say, I'm ecstatic. It's been over four years since I have seen these guys on stage. And apparently that was long enough. The Bosstones are back, if only for a few select dates. For me, it's like being a kid again - it just brings me back to a simpler time in my life when I had to worry about curfews and being caught smoking and praying to god that my dad's old VW was going to make it up the icy hill to school. And I can't fucking wait.

EDIT: From my "reunited" journal: "Those were the sweatiest, smokiest, drunkest shows I've ever been to, and what I wouldn't give to see them play just one more time..." Still true.