T.W.I.B. Notes

This week has been so, so, so busy. Auditioning new guitar players. Album artwork do-overs. Open mic nights where I play the part of Statler and Waldorf to Tim's Muppet Show, except Statler and Waldorf didn't have three orange-vodka-tonics in them when the heckling occurred.

Oh and then there's this handsome titanium devil:

It's my first iPod since my old original click-wheel G4 40-gig 24 lbs. black-and-white behemoth died on tour last summer. I've filled it up with all the new goodies, as well as some old stuff I've been revisiting the past few days: Face To Face, NOFX, Finch, etc. plus all the old bootleg Alkaline Trio I stole from Dr. J. I can't remember the last time I've desk-drummed along to "Don't Call Me White."

Also, I was given a very important math lesson this past Tuesday:

y=kx

Basically, what this means is this: the grandiosity of my gesticulations while telling a story(y) is directly proportional to the amount of drinks I've consumed (k). The non-zero constant (x) is my raging French-Canadian heritage.

I'm 0-3 lifetime at Wii bowling. I'm a sore loser. I'm an even sorer winner. This is completely unacceptable.

My panic research was no help.

Everyone who has ever spoken to me about anything ever knows that I constantly speak in superlatives. I have this need for everything to be ranked and rated and have a standing in my life. I do this with movies, books, people, and especially music. I'm always creating top five lists, or exclaiming that that "this book is probably in my top 10, but most definitely in the Top 20," or that "this is probably my second favorite episode of The Office." And yes, I understand that there are tons of people who do this, and have done so casually ever since Nick Hornby introduced us to Rob Fleming twelve years ago. However, I realize I borderline obsess with placing everything into a nice neat pecking order. But you know what? I rather enjoy the look of an ordered list.

There is a point to all of this, I swear.

One of my longest-lasting and still-ongoing lists is that of "The Top 5 Best Live Bands I've Ever Seen." I have seen hundreds and hundreds of bands in my life. Some spectacular. Most mediocre or unremarkable. But there are live shows that have given me chills. Or made me sing out like a schoolgirl at an N'Sync concert. They are as follows, in hierarchical order: (And here's where I get to use the "ordered list" tag!)

1. RX Bandits
   
2. Motion City Soundtrack
   
3. Elvis Costello
   
4. Wilco
   
5. Story Of The Year
   

Now, keep in mind that these are not necessarily my top 5 favorite bands of all time. These are just the best live performances I have ever seen. Their musicianship, set list, stage/light show, and sound quality all gets taken in to account. These aren't just one-offs either. Out of these five bands, I've seen four on multiple occasions, so I'm taking multiple performances in to account here.

Oh, and I promise there's a point to this.

This weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing #1 and #2 on consecutive nights.

Saturday night was RX Bandits at the esteemed Living Room. The way that they command the stage is practically unmatchable. I'm not going to delve too far in to analyzing their set, as I had already delved too far into a string of Miller Lites and was thus not at the peak of my analytical game. I will say however that both "Decrescendo" and "...And The Battle Begun" were positively mind-blowing, especially during the drum break/bridge section of the latter. At that point in the song, Chris Tsgakis (who, by the way is the most explosive drummer I have ever seen live, and I've seen Rush, so suck it) launched in to the ostinato pattern as he does on the record. He was then joined by the trombone player and the drummer for Men, Women, and Children, who were tooling on a variety of toms, bongos, congas, and other sorts of assorted percussion. The three combined in a freestyle-drum circle for a few bars, then vaulted into an amazing call-and-response session before the rest of the band rejoined and finished the tune up. Such a fucking "wow" moment.

Then, last night, was the indomitable Motion City Soundtrack at the historic Palladium in Worcester. (Like "Historic Lambeau Field", or "Historic Downtown Pawtucket" [which, alas, actually exists]). We arrived just as Metro Station began performing. I had heard a little about these guys before, but never bothered to give them a listen - I really, really enjoyed their set. I may even purchase their record!

Afterwards came the always awesome Anberlin. (Alliterations FTW! [Side story: After RX Bandits on Saturday, I went home and played Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit with my roommates. It's DVD interactive, so the questions get posed to you from the TV, not from the traditional cards. Well, the six categories were on the main menu, and underneath those was an option entitled "FOR THE WIN." Now, I had spent the previous nine hours at Tortilla Flats/Union Station Brewery/The Living Room, so I was pretty well on my way to a horrendous hangover the next morning, so at that point in time, an option entitled "FOR THE WIN" was just about the single greatest thing I had ever seen in my life. And I let everyone in the room know it. Several times. To their annoyance.]) They killed it, as usual. Stephen Christian knows how to whip a crowd in to a frenzy - I've seen him do it on several occasions. The highlight was definitely "Dismantle, Repair" where he jumped on top of the barricade, allowing the crowed to support him, and solicited the crowed to scream "reeeee-pair!" with him. Astounding as always.

Next was Mae. I love Mae. Mae sucks live. Third time I've seen them. Third time I've said "I love Mae, but they suck live." Meh.






I liked their new stage plot a lot. Their lighting design was really, really good too - 6 intelligent lights, LEDs on the stage for highlighting washes, LEDs on the trusses, and then the three-color wash from the Par Cans on the rigging.





Tim and I started off on the stage, but the view sucked, so we moved down into the in front of the barrier right in front of stage right. The view was perfect. As "This Is For Real" kicked in, I started to feel myself flipping out. Then "Time Turned Fragile" (fave) was launched in to and I lost it. I was bouncing around and screaming, just like last time. Except this time I wasn't drunk. Man, they're so fucking good.





It's really hard to use a Sidekick as your primary photographic apparatus. The 1.3 megapixels afforded by it somehow don't seem to cut the mustard. I did get a few good shots though.





They finished up with "My Future Freaks Me Out" and had thousands of kids screaming about how much they needed Betty to call up on their cellular phones. The stage went dark and I realized just how exhausted I was from the goings on of the weekend. My bed was a most welcome sight at half past midnight. But I can't wait to do it all again.

Zubaz ARE BACK!

Oh man! Remember these guys from the early-to-mid-90's? Remember those dudes walking around the mall wearing Gold's Gym t-shirts that were cut at the sleeves and around the mid-riff, the majestic ringlets of their greasy mullets falling gently across their upper shoulders, erstwhile sporting these fine and fashionable trousers? Well, THEY'RE BACK! Soon, there will once again be legions of Oakley-sunglass-wearing, HGH-ed up muscleheads cruising around in their IROCs and listening to "Pour Some Sugar On Me." And all because of the return of the mighty Zubaz. And I can't wait.

The website boasts that they "suggest[s] an 'in your face' attitude by the weightlifters, athletes, sports fans and other casual connoisseurs of high fashion who don [their] pants." Well, as a connoisseur of high fashion, I can say that I, for one, will be purchasing the entire line of Zubaz, including the limited edition Green Bay Packers motif.

And as the website suggests, I will definitely "be the first in your group of friends to declare your rekindled passion for Zubaz and offer unrestrained support to your favorite sports team and sporting-like activity."

I haven't posted here in a week - I feel like I've been neglecting my internet duties!

I'll make some excuses for myself, though. Last Monday and Tuesday, I moved in to my new place in Providence. Also, my parents moved to Florida, so I spent Halloween night hanging with them, and then playing Wii and drinking with my brother, who I haven't talked to in about 5 years. And then I worked Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Sunday, we tried out a new guitar player, and then it was Super Bowl XLI.5. Monday was more band practice.

...Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here. Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.

It's definitely 2007. And there's definitely a dude wearing a long
sleeve Godsmack t-shirt eating lunch at the table next to me.
--johnberard

Good riddance, you arrogant son of a bitch.

Oh and it's new manager day!

EDIT: Right after I posted this, I found a great article by Buster Olney about the magnitude of A-Rod's suck. It's a pretty good read. Especially if you can't stand the kid.

VISIBLE LULZ.

I'm on a tear today.

So this past weekend I went to New York City. Whilst in Manhattan dining at the world famous Olive Garden (which got me tons of ribbing), I snapped this lovely picture because T-Dubbs is apparently a huge fan of Fantasia:


(Remember in The Office when Michael goes to Manhattan to get some authentic New York pizza, and ends up at a Sbarro? That's what us going to Olive Garden is like.)

ANNNNNYWAYZ,

I thought this picture would make a great LOLpic, so I made two versions: the first is a nice, easy G-rated version, and the second is slightly more NSFW.

Enjoy!

TOP 3 THINGS...

...I saw while at Stop & Shop yesterday after work:

1. A circa-1987 Ford Ranger, rusted, with a hood and right front side panel that were different colors than the rest of the truck with a lawnmower in the bed. WAIT, THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART - the license plate read "DALEJR" and that's amazing.
2. A roughly ten-year old boy in full karate adornment sparring with himself on the glass doors in the freezer section. Complete with utterances. I prolly could have taken him. Prolly.
3. A grown man, my guess would be somewhere in his mid-fifties, singing Peter Cetera's "Glory Of Love" while purchasing what looked to be some sort of pet food. (Incidentally, this occurrence meshed well with occurrence #2, as "Glory Of Love" was heavily featured in the underrated 1986 epic, The Karate Kid, Part II)

You can't make this stuff up.

October is apparently new music month

Seriously, how much brand new music can one person listen to in a month's time? Apparently, if you're me, the answer is a shit ton. There have been so many phenomenal CD's that have come out (or are coming out) this month. As mentioned a few entries down, the new Dashboard Confessional record came out a few weeks ago. Last week, both Jimmy Eat World's Chase This Light and the first two volumes of Thrice's The Alchemy Index both hit stores. Besides that, the new Say Anything and Cobra Starship records came out this week. (I listened to the Cobra Starship record when it was streaming - I may pick it up. As for Say Anything... well, we'll see...)

That being said, there are three things I've heard this week that I'm totes nose over tail for:

1. First, the newest offering from my perennial faves, Saves The Day, comes out next Tuesday. It's entitled Under The Boards, and it's the second record in a three-album trilogy. I spent all day Wednesday listening to the stream. I'm definitely in to it. It's currently streaming at the band's MySpace.
   
2. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by my second swoon-of-the-week. It's The Color Fred, which initially was a side project of Taking Back Sunday's Fred Mascherino. About a week or so ago, he announced that he was leaving TBS to make this band his full time focus. I was skeptical that it just wasn't going to be that good. Well, it's not breaking any new musical ground or anything, but it is a really, really solid record. It's a lot more down-tempo and poppy than most of TBS's stuff - a lot of it a real singer/songwriterey vibe to it. Admittedly, a couple of the songs sound like they could have been rejected TBS songs ("I Hate To See You Go"), and from what I've read, that is in fact the case. But they're still very catchy and solid. Give it a listen here.
3. Ok, this record didn't come out this month, but I first heard it in its entirety yesterday afternoon, and it's sooooo good. So I shall include it here. It's called About Face by The Working Title. It's very indie/pop/rock (think Sherwood and The Forecast), and I'm actually getting more in to it the more I listen (which, with records like this, the opposite is usually the case). They have about half the record on their Purevolume page. So far the standouts for me have been "Under The Ground, " "The Mary Getaway (I Lost Everything)," and "Turbulence."

I tell you, it's gonna be really fucking hard to do a end of the year top 10 list in December...

It looks like the sky was painted this way.
--johnberard

FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

Don Mattingly is my favorite baseball player of all time.

And now, according to ESPN, he might be the new manager of the Yankees.

Stoked.

I hope you find your will to follow through

Brand New released a digital-only single yesterday entitled "Fork and Knife." In its previous incarnation, it was known as "Untitled 07" and could be found on the leaked demo sessions for The Devil And God... It was recorded during the actual album sessions, but left off the record.

Today, the song was posted to their MySpace page. Now, I am a huge Brand New fan, and I had been reading that the song sounded different than anything else they've ever done. I was hesitant to listen to it because I didn't want to be disappointed. Well, I gave it a shot, and whatever the exact opposite of disappointed is, that's what I am.

It's fucking great. I just blew $0.99 on it. You can hear it for yourself here on their MySpace page.

In offense of the genre

The new Say Anything record, In Defense Of The Genre, came out today. For weeks and weeks, all I have done is read that it's the "release of the year" on absolutepunk.net and in Alternative Press. Most of you know how reputable I deem these rags to be as it is, and I just can't wrap my head around how this band is still likened to the next coming of The Beatles. For any other band, a 27-song double-disc release would be attacked as pretentious and egotastic. But not this. No, this is bold and ambitious, the work of a mad genius. This is a masterpiece. Riiiiight.

I mean, I touched on this very subject earlier this year. And to be honest, I listened to all the songs that were pre-released from the new album. I hoped to be dissuaded from my opinion. "What is it that I'm missing here?" I thought to myself. "Why can't I understand this?" And to this day I remain baffled.

As mentioned, it doesn't help that the two prevalent scene media outlets are completely stroking this band. This morning, absolutepunk posted a review of the record. It has to be one of the most useless reviews I have ever read in my life. It basically just lets the reader know just how awesome and completely infallible the reviewer believes Max Bemis to be. For instance, the review states:

And with 27 songs, there are bound to be a few cringe-worthy lines, with gems like “Jesus died a Jew/pupils painted blue/you haters know it’s true” being one of the more ridiculous lines. But, strangely, these flaws just add to the concept of this album, that relationships are chaotic and unfocused at times, but also they can be great and change your life.

That is one of the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard in my life. Call a spade a spade - bad writing is bad writing, not life changing.

He also goes on to state:

With all the hype Say Anything has generated for this release, it’s pretty common to see a lot of hate; most of which is foolish.

That has to be one of the the most ludicrous things I have ever read in a review in my life. I mean, I've read hundreds of reviews that I've disagreed with, and even hated, but I have never come across such a preposterous statement in a review. Basically, that sentence reworded could easily read "Um, some people don't like Say Anything, and those people are obviously missing brain cells."

Also it doesn't help that absolutepunk have changed their background and color scheme to coincide with today's release. FTL.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two bands out there that are doing stuff that's "quirky" and "off-beat" like this. Only they do it better. (Incidentally, those bands are RORY and The Matches.) Now, by no means am I knocking anyone who likes Say Anything, nor am I calling in to question the musicianship and skill found within that band - I commend anyone who can make a living playing music, and for what it's worth, they're not terrible. I just don't like them. What I am calling in to question is the credibility of those who are shoving this record down the throat of the entire scene.

There are several records that come to mind that could be considered for"the best album of the year": Chase This Light, Even If It Kills Me, Under The Boards, Infinity On High, and on and on. Well, if you're going to be gay for one big release, you have to be gay for them all. You cant just be Say Anything-curious. Be fair. Give the facts and let people make their own minds up. It's getting to be as bad as corporate radio. You want to defend the genre? Knock this stupid shit off.

o, haiiiiii buildings.
--johnberard

This is what I encountered on the Mount Hope Bridge as the last leg of my 24 hour journey to New York came to an end.

It seemed fitting. Or at least literary.

What an amazing weekend. I really needed the time away. Hangs were amazing, as always.

Bffl #2, Olive Garden, bffl #1, Fantasia, new American Apparel track jackets, practical subway mastery, NYC faves, welfare mimosas, game 6, birthday playlists, Everlong requests, almost-vandalism, visible hangover...

Yeah. I'm still tired. Erica and Jess - thanks for the hospitalitude. Next time I'll make those omelettes. With eggs that weren't purchased with vengeance.
--johnberard